Almost Gold
Posted by samcjh | Filed under Uncategorized
Last week was my IPPT test! surprisingly my standing broad jump improved by a grade to B which was 234cm. After i got that i was like WOAH! my shuttle run also improved to 9.7s and my pullup i did another 2 more to make it 10. I thought for sure Gold would be mine although my previous fastest timing for 2.4km was 10.15. SO i ran. I RAN SO HARD. But i got 9.46……….. SUPER DISSAPOINTED CAUSE IT WAS JUST 2 SECONDS AWAY FROM GOLD TIMING! MAN! i ran till my legs were weak, till i could not even open my eyes at the last 50 m sprint and i still missed the score. Very sad. After that ltr that day i got to know that my guard duty was on saturday. ANother demoralising event to think about. Still i praised the Lord and i knew that though i might not enjoy my weekends as much, i can still delight in Him.
Last week my cell grp leader’s grandfather passed away, one of my closest friend also experienced it in the same week. As hard as i tried, i kept thinking about what i experienced too. It was real gloomy that day but thank God i was always given strength as i know better things have yet to come as promised. Gone ahead not gone away was what i told them. Yes, gone ahead.
Now everymorning in bunk i read and do my bible study. I pray to God for the strength to go through each day. No longer am i shy about my faith and no longer will i hide or try to conceal my praying as i know without God i cannot pull through, without God i am nothing. And as promised each and everyday God has given me new mercies, new blessings and a renewal of strength and trust in him. If i dont do bible study in the morning, i would feel different in the activities that follows. But when i do bible study and i pray and commit to Jesus, He answers my cries and He comforts me. I really thank God that through this difficult time i have drawn closer to Him and learn to rely on Him more then ever. God knows his plan for me and he will bring me through it. This is His promise. I love you Jesus.
2010
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Here i am in 2010. In 2009, i completed my A lvls, i got a place in uni, i formally started to work, i lost my dad to cancer and i got into army. 2009 was not a good year for me, esp after the lost of my dad. Army was not only physically tiring, it was also mentally exhausting as i kept thinking about my father. My father was a wonderful person and i am very proud of him. As i see my army friends talk about their families, i realise that i am the only one without a complete family, and i feel very sad. But in order to put up a front, i rarely talk about my family and hence my army friends do not know about the passing of my father before i enlisted. I do not like to be viewed apathatically from people with complete families and in my heart i still think that i have a father. Hence whenever i talk about my father, i do so sparingly. I still want to paint an image of a complete family to my peers. Whenever i fill up forms about family particulars, i would always fill it fast and fold it up. Seemingly hiding the facts of my father’s death from myself and others. If only the reality were as easy to fold up. But everyday as i try to ignore the hard realities of life, i struggle. I struggle to cope and i feel depressed at times even though i remind myself God is there. Though i may not understand God’s plan for me, it is still not comforting enough to bury the pain that i constantly feel when i think about the absence of my father. I have nothing to replace this void that God has placed. On the outside i might still routinely appear cheery or even jovial, but every night before i sleep i would still think about my father and how much he meant to me. The worst thing is that in army there is no room for feelings and emotions. I just have to grit my teeth each day and bear through the pain. I feel like if i find myself a partner now i might be able to fill up this void within me. But all search is in vain as similarly i do not have the courage to commit. Some might label me as cowardy or weak, but thats how i feel. I really pray that 2010 is a new start to better things to come. 2009 was a painful year, i pray that 2010 will be better.
So much christmas
Posted by samcjh | Filed under Uncategorized
Alot of things happened since the last time i blogged. I was posted to Military police =). My computer broke down on the day before i entered MP and not forgetting christmas. My computer is back! not the same one but a different one with windows 7! all the hype about new operating systems dont live up to it. Gone is the familiarity and chemistry i had with my old OS and now theres this new intruder windows 7 and i have to embrace him (170 dollars). Now i have two computers, one for my mum and one for myself. This is pretty much the solution i have yearned ,for situations when i am playing computer games and suddenly my mum needs to print something important. the process to get used to the new computer is tedious and not to mention frustating as i have to do it for both computers like installin the drives and getting both to work the way it was meant to . Its all good now after investing two afternoons into setting up the computers. But one problem remains, my dota cant work.
I have been warned in my Mp training that i am not allowed to post anything about my training but i can roughly sum it up as fighting Z monsters every lesson and regementation.
Christmas eve was funnn. In the morning i was still in camp until 4 so its already almost evening when my activities start. I had a family gathering at my small aunt’s place and there was lots of gooood food to eat and my cousins were fun as usual. My younger cousins had this array of NERF guns and they entertained themselves and me with their endless ” battles” . We played taboo and that was fun too. After that it was staying over at Gloria’s place. As usual when i saw them some were just lazing around, somewere watching youtube and some were asleep. Pretty good party animals i say. Luckily i brought pictionary and Taboo and that lasted from night to dawn. Christmas was boring though, absence of christmas gift was mainly contributing to the lack of festive spirit.
I have to book in again at 9 back to MP training school. Feeling kinda emo now as the friends there are still quite quite distant and my buddy beside me keeps showing me his lack of hygiene which seriously affects me.
i dont mean to brag
Posted by samcjh | Filed under Uncategorized
I dont mean to brag but, I AM GOING TO BE A MILITARY POLICEMAN! take that all u chiong sua ppl!!
PAIN
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Back from field camp yesterday! Field camp is super not enjoyable when u have cough and flu and just recovered from a fever. But if i can take it with so many illness i think anyone can. I realise now that army is not about physical fitness but mental strength, ppl who are physically fit might not have the mental fortitude to take such shit.
On the last day of field camp i almost died, literally. I could not breath as i felt there was sth pressing against my chest, the weight of the LBV made it worse . Luckily i told clement and he informed my SIr about it. I sat in the safety rover and made it to the medical centre back at ladang camp. The doctor said i suffered from physical exhaustion. During the process of being unable to breath, my legs and hands were numb and unable to move as i collapse on the floor with a bench as support for my back. I really felt as if i was dying but i wasnt afraid. Death should be swift like this. I think its due to the worsing of the cough until i cannot breath properly. After that i could talk but i could not finish my sentences without coughing halfway so it was like ” i wan to *cough* eat sth” my sentences became 3 word spurts before the urge to cough starts again.
Now my back is unable to staighten without feeling an ache on my lower back, death is coming slowly but surely.
SUPERSTAR
Posted by samcjh | Filed under Uncategorized
Injuries frm army so far
Lower back sprain
Ankle sprain
numbness in toe
pain at the heel
things i have done in army so far
strip and assemble rifle
IMT
grenade handling test
4km route march
Swimming assessment
ippt grping
alot of running
climbed alot of stairs
ate alot of sucky food
MY PAACKING LIST
Posted by samcjh | Filed under Uncategorized
OOO PACK BAG TIME FOR ARMY !
THings i am going to bring:
1) Slipper!
2) BODY FOAM FROM SHUKUBUSHI
3) ITCHY SCALP SHAMPOOO
4) HANGER x 8
5) toilet roll!
6) panadol ( incase i wanna sucide)
7) washing powder
9) Plasters
10) mopiqo!
11) fast absorbing powder!
12) axe oil
13) Under wear
14) singlet
15) vitamins
16) ziplock bags
17) spectacles
18) a small lock
19) goggles!
20) handphone and batt
…………………………………………………………………………
I still have some stuff i have yet to pack like toothbrush and facial wash. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
DAds birthday
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Today would be my dads birthday if he was still here. 5 of october. He will always be remembered =)
Met KE, MICH and CHLOE at JP today for DInner at ichibannn. FUNNESS! mich kept poking fun of my super pro chinese sayings. I invented a new word! so now KE and ME are like into this new word but chloe is like super against it. WHEWW
ITS ARMY TIME!
Posted by samcjh | Filed under Uncategorized
OOOO i wanted to blog the few things that happened in the last few days!
letssss see, FRIDAY!
1) went for prayer mtg in church for the second time!
2) played like some candles and lantern which i assumed would be fun but end up not very.
3) got spun around by my friends and had like a drug like headache. <– that sucked real bad
SATURDAY!
1) attended my church teacher’s wedding which was eye opening.
2) attended cell grp which we did bible study
3) saw my JC friends again! wheeeeeeeew!
SUNDAY!
1) attended church which was GOOOD STUFF! much btr then last week.
2) met RANDY and gang! WOOTS! then we hung out at JM’s ah ma place and i had the longest hair, WHEEW
3) Ate at fisherman wharf near central and played board games at PITSTOP!
4) found out a secret!
YAY!
too tired to blog about the details but thats what happened in chronological order. ITS THREE DAMN DAYS TO ARMY HELL! DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT
Crabss
Posted by samcjh | Filed under Uncategorized
Tday i managed to read finish the book i bought yesterday. The book is pretty good! It gave me alot of assurance and comfort, the 5 people you meet in heaven always gave a twist to their story which is really something i enjoy, the shock value. Though i play video games more often now, i find that books still tend to give me the ” i wanna read through and know the ending” rush and the sudden twist in climax always makes my mouth go wow. I would recommend ” 5 people you meet in heaven” to people who often wonder what heaven is like and need something to believe in. People may call it fairytales or bullshit but i think that every imagination has a truth in it. I rate it 5 stars out of 5 stars.
For dinner we had special company! My chinese pastors and my mom’s church friends came over. My mum cooked alot of good stufff, there was fried mixed vegetables with prawn, curry chicken, some soup, meat biscuits and our highlight– CRABS! She spent all day preparing this meal and i must applaud her for that. If it was me i would just collapse after cooking the curry for the chicken and order pizza hut. Pastor gave me a verse before going army which was from ha ka gu chapter, it talks about how everything fails and is taken away but I can always delight in the Lord. I think its very true since sometimes i find it hard to be happy about anything, and knowing that Jesus is there for me makes me proud and happy all of a sudden. Happiness like these last quite long and i feel very assured =).
O ya i got a new game for my xbox 360 today! its UFC 2009. UFC stands for Ultimate fighting club. Its like wrestling but theres certain moves and everthing is very tight and ” real” like you cannot really leap from a ladder ten feet up and crash in this game. Its just two men fighting in an octagon which sometimes looks pretty gay but its fun controling the fighter and beating the crap out of the other. When you do a knockout they do the slow motion camera view and its like o…ooo…POW! then u see like the guy spitting out his mouthpiece and blood flying all over. Its pretty cool. I just like created a wrestler and i was on my 8th winning streak when this dude who was much stronger knocked me out and i got pretty pissed so i just switched my xbox off. HAHA.
lately i have alot of classouting or meet friends sessions, i guess its either i am going to army or this is all concidental. I really hope the people i meet in army are not assholes.
